Signs I Received To Have Another Baby
Have kids they say right? Motherhood is the furthest thing from being glamorous. It’s not about Instagram, stories or keeping up with the Jones on social media. It’s about the recovery, spit up in every nook and cranny, sometimes not showering for days, sleepless nights (that’s an understatement), and barely being able to get a brush through your hair. And even with all that, 6.5 years later here I am with my second son. The Signs I Received to Have Another Baby were no coincidence. Having a child is still somehow magical through all the exhaustion. And I’d say 9 out of 10 Mother’s wouldn’t change it for the world. I know I wouldn’t. If I had to go through the same exact thing to have my babies again, knowing what I’d have to deal with, I would do it in a heartbeat because I can’t imagine my life without them now. I hardly remember my life before them. Ok maybe I remember sleeping till 1pm on the weekends but still, that was so long ago, LOL.
Let me give you a little back story real quick. After having my first son I decided I wasn’t going to have any more kids ever again. Not only because I was physically and mentally exhausted but because pregnancy for me was not easy, delivery was traumatizing (you can read all about that pregnancy here). To be honest, I never really liked to share my first birth story with new, potential moms because I didn’t want to scare them from having kids. Everyone is so so so different. I know someone who was pregnant, only gained weight in her belly, gave birth in like 3.2 seconds and was back in her skinny jeans same day, not even kidding. So yea don’t take my story and think it’s going to be your own because trust me, you will have your own experience and story to tell. With that said what made me have a second child almost 7 years later? It wasn’t a mistake, it was planned by me and something else much more deeper. God, The Universe what have you, had a plan and I knew this was my path to follow innately.
I remember after having Michael I would say to my husband in jest he wasn’t even allowed near my ear hole that’s how terrified I was at even the thought of being pregnant again. My husband and I are a pretty active married couple, however we were super cautious. I never used birth control in my life so we use other means of protection, I didn’t mess around. For years we practiced safe sex. He respected me fully in my decision not to have anymore kids.
Fast forward to 2017 when I said to my husband I got a message I’m suppose to have another baby and I’m scared but I am ready. First he was shocked and then wanted to know who or what made me change my mind. I remember being like “I don’t know, I just know I’m suppose to have another baby and it has to be this year and I will have the baby in November and the numbers will be predominantly 7”. It was as though something higher than me was telling me this information and I was just expressing it verbally to my husband. You know when you feel something in the core of your being? Well that’s how this was for me. This message was in the core of my being and I knew it wasn’t false. I started a vision board and let my intuition guide me. I had picked out angel wings of protection followed by images of pregnant bellies with angels behind them. The word “expanding” kept coming to mind and I knew it meant my family. My husband was on board with a side thought of maybe my wife is a little nut-so too, haha. But we were ready.
I was so so so scared but I knew I was meant to do it. I went to my doctor and we told him we were thinking of trying. He told us it takes the average couple 6 months to conceive but I knew in my gut that this was so meant to happen and it was going to happen right away. A month after that visit I was back in the office pregnant. I literally felt my conception. From being such a previous hypochondriac, I know all and any subtle changes in my body. I knew I was pregnant and didn’t even doubt it. When I took a pregnancy test 2 days before my period I knew it already and I was right. But it wasn’t just a lucky guess, I felt it, on a soul level.
Throughout my whole pregnancy with Oliver I felt even more spiritually connected. The ego part of me would try so hard to panic and worry about everything that could go wrong but my higher self would shut it down with massive reassurance that everything was going to be fine. I couldn’t even force myself to spiral out of control even if I wanted too and believe me I tried. I would think the worst things possible that could happen and still my sub conscious would keep that in check.
Everything was on schedule and I gave birth to Oliver 11/27/17, see those 7’s? I wasn’t surprised because I knew this already on a level I never experienced before. My Claircognizance was at it’s peak. I felt both mine and Oliver’s chakras, I could almost physically see the colors. My oldest son is sweet, kind, sensitive and his abilities were heightened as well. My husband never questioned anything because of how it was all unfolding. He would love to listen to how I was feeling or what messages were coming through. That’s why during pregnancy none of it was about social media. I thought initially I would post about my pregnancy weekly but I didn’t. Not because I didn’t want to but because I was actually living in those moments and being fully present. I didn’t feel the need or pressure to pull out my phone and “document” it because I was whole heartedly living it.
The Loudest Message
One of the biggest messages I received was regarding Oliver’s middle name. I’m very into names having meaning. For me I feel it’s the foundation in which the personality will exude from. I loved Oliver from the beginning because it means “to bring peace”. I see him as a light worker. But for the life of me I couldn’t pick a middle name. I loved the name Noah and Gray but Gray didn’t have a meaning, it just sounded nice and Noah just didn’t feel right.
We had so many people offering up middle names but I kept saying no to all of them. A month before I gave birth I was waking up from a nap when someone said in my ear very loudly, almost like a shout, “Nathaniel”. Have you ever woken up from sleep and heard a yell? It was like that, but it wasn’t a physical being that said it. No one was in the room with me and that name wasn’t even on my radar or even mentioned to me before. So I looked it up and it’s meaning…are you ready for this?? It’s meaning is…”Gift From God”. Chills for dayzzzzz am I right?! And that’s how I named my Little baby O.
Now I don’t know if you believe in signs or if this post resonates with you but I have to tell you this is very real. Having kids again after Michael was never an option. When I told close family and friends I was having another baby they were shocked because I was adamant in my initial decision.
Here’s a few more signs I want you guys to know about. Both my sons due dates were on deceased grandparents birthdays. When I gave birth to Michael he was due on my grandmother’s birthday. The day I gave birth to Michael both my day nurse and night nurse were named Annie. My grandmother’s name was Annie. Oliver’s birthday was due on my grandfather’s birthday. A few months after having him I resumed going to my sound mediation. The man who runs the class gave me a big hug and asked if I had a baby and I said yes. He then proceeded to tell me that my grandfather was the one strongly present throughout my whole pregnancy and that’s why I felt so safe. Now this guy doesn’t know any of the private details of my pregnancy or the signs that occurred throughout. I didn’t go to one sound meditation while I was pregnant. He just flat out said this to me in the beginning of class and I was astounded.
Some things just have no explanation and are what they are. I’ll tell you, I felt extremely blessed. I still do. And now having kids isn’t so scary to me anymore. A lot of things I use to be afraid of are dissipating because as I receive more signs, I know I’m being guided and I have more love, trust and faith. Let’s see how this goes with me getting on elevators and airplanes now. Hey I mean if I can give birth again and cauliflower can be pizza, I can do and be anything.
Have some signs you want to share? I would love to hear your experiences with this. Comment below and start the conversation!!
Thank you for sharing details of your wonderful experience. I came across you page as I searched google for an explanation of my own experience. I just recently had a reiki session. During the session I saw my father who passed away a number of years ago. He was holding a newborn baby girl he told me she was my baby and her name was Darcy. I have only ever had one pregnancy- my son who is nearly 10. Could this be a future baby ?
Hi Francesca, thank you so much for sharing that with me. Darcy feels so beautiful! She could very well be or she can be part of your support team in Spirit!
I haven’t had any kids yet, but I recently started dating this guy and I have a strong feeling we’re going to have kids together. I recently had a dream that I went to visit him and he had 3 little girls. And ever since I started talking to him, I have a very strong feeling that we’re going to have a family together.
Oh Wow Chloe, how do you feel about that, are you excited or do you have trepidations? If it’s something you want, it’s super exciting to have that clear inner knowing.
I have been feeling a powerful energy coming through to me from what feels like a future soul. It sometimes seems like it is saying it wants me be it’s mom but I have to choose it too. The energy is always patient. Thanks for sharing your story.
Sure!💕 I tell u mine. Im here looking for the law of assumption. I found your blog. I want o be a mother, and since I was 20 something , I knew somehow, my baby’s name will be Oliver Antonio. Lately Im checking if his middle name should be Antonio or not. It happens 2 things. 20 years later I met my now husband, his name is Oliver. Now here reading you also as something curious.. your baby’s name is Oliver also. And you were on the search for a middle name too. Isn’t that interesting …?
Thanks for sharing
I receive multiple and constant signs of a baby coming, but my husband says definitaly not.. Im 42 now so I find it a bit confusing
I keep asking for a sign lol. I’ve had 2 psychics tell me I will have a second child my child is 12 and her dad left when she was 2.
I have since been with my soul mate for 8 years we are married and would like to have a child.
I ask for signs because my first pregnancy was horrendous with illness I nearly lost my eye sight (type 1 diabetes) so I feel like I need guidance and actually would love guidance from the universe. I really hope I get some signs as I’m 50/50 about it due to health and age (38)
Great signs, appreciate you sharing this with the rest of us Jennifer.
I loved this story my baby was also born on my deceased grandmother’s birthdate . I’m not ready to have another baby yet but I hope I do sometime
I have a 4 and 6 year old, both boys. My husband and I in the past couple of years became believers. We were talking one day, as we sat in our driveway, about whether or not we should have another baby. I told him I was hoping to but I wasn’t totally sure and wanted to see what God had to say. We prayed about it and then for out of the car. Right when we came up to the front door, there was a tiny bird sitting on our front doormat, looking up at us. This was one of many birds to give us a sign of the existence of God. I said to my husband that it was a sign, but he wasn’t ready to confirm it as a sign. Then a month or so later, he seemed to be softening to the idea of a baby. I hadn’t been pushing the issue, in fact, I figured it just wasn’t happening and was okay with it. Then, two mornings ago, our 4 year old came into our room, and said he had had a dream (he never really talks about his dreams). The dream was this, “mama had a baby in her belly and they were singing hallelujah (the music).” Then, he said we were all riding a bike (a 4 person bike) and we crashed into a thorn bush, but we weren’t hurt because we were “protected!” My husband and I were convinced that it meant it was a sign from God. To be honest, I’m personally not totally on board, but I am on board with following God completely, no matter my feelings or fears on the matter. My husband is completely changed by this and completely sure. I called to make an appointment to have my IUD removed and they said they happen to have a cancelation tomorrow at 8 am. So, it’s happening sooner than we thought. Then, we had a run in with my husband’s parents. They didn’t seem thrilled at all at the idea of getting a signs from God about a new baby as a possibility. So, we have vowed to keep it private… from now on…after that, I came upstairs, and things seemed sort of off with my husband and I. We felt deflated by his parents’ reaction to the story about our 4 year old’s dream. (They are not God Believers). I randomly googled “ signs from god to have a baby” and this was the first post that popped up. Several things stood out to me….the name Oliver popped into my head at Costco today. Just out of nowhere. The number 7 is a prominent number in the Bible…and just the general confirmation of a big yes to signs from God about having a baby. Thank you for this list.
It’s too early for me to test, but I’ve been having many early signs of pregnancy.
Last night, my mind drifted off somewhere, and I had a thought, almost like a vision or a waking daydream. It was of myself with my hand on my fully pregnant belly, telling it that it would be so loved.
When I snapped out of it, I was a little confused but had this overwhelming sense of peace and calmness. It was crazy. I hope it means what I think it means.
Thank you so much for sharing Lindsey! Sending you so much love! 🙂
In the dream I saw myself laying on a hospital bed. In front of me was an ultrasound machine.
I saw myself leaning towards it because I couldn’t make out the image on the screen.
Then all of a sudden I heard a clear, male,authoritative voice say to me “Mrs Rizzo, you are having twin girls.”
I then saw myself, jaw dropped and I turn over to my husband who was standing by the ultrasound machine and I said “What!!!!??”
And I woke up.
After that dream I feel like twins have been popping up everywhere.
At the mall, park, tv, books (your book was one of them) lol!!
And I need to say.. my husband had a vasectomy over 20 years ago.
This would be a miracle!!
And, last June I couldnt sleep. And it was 5am.
I never ever put on The tv so early in the morning. Especially while lying in bed out of respect for my husband.
But I felt a tug in my heart to turn it on!
I never ever put on The tv so early in the morning. Especially while lying in bed out of respect for my husband.
But I felt a tug in my heart to turn it on!
And lo and behold on some odd channel was
Judy Jacobs teaching on
“There will be miracles”
Omg.. she was emphasizing on a pregnancy miracle.
At the end of the program she pointed out to the tv audience (Me)!! And said that God was going to preform that miracle pregnancy!!
I cried and laughed and my husband woke up.
I shared it with him..
We both believe..
As a matter of fact..
We’ve already chosen their names:
Isabella (devoted to God) Joy Rizzo &
Cristina (follower of Christ) Joy Rizzo.
We are still waiting for our “twin girls”
so I spoke to a psychic and she told me this “I’m seeing that theres Been a child Energy around you and I’m seeing new beginnings coming your way but looking into this I’m seeing that you have a third energy around you that’s jealous and trying to hold you back from successful opportunities and is going to try to get in the way again” What does this mean? And also lately I’ve been feeling sick and tired, and can barely eat and tried a bunch of homemade pregnancy tests and they all point to positive. But I do have to wait 12 more days to see if my period comes or not. But my body is telling something. I gut is telling me one thing but at the same time I don’t want to give my hopes up. Please give me your opinion on this
I’ve been receiving so many signs lately about my future and my mission in particular. They both include interests I had as a child but didn’t believe was possible for me. I believe your story was another sign. Like you said in the article; my fear is dissipating and it’s being replaced with motivation to go after my destiny. It’s funny because I was only curious about spirit babies but it led to the same message I’ve been receiving signs for. Im so ready lol. Thank you for sharing <3
Anaiah, thank you so much for sharing that with me. I love how the signs sometimes just come into our faces and we have to stop denying them. Sending you so much love and many blessings. 🙂
This is a beautiful story. I can feel it in your words. My story is a little different but it is about my awareness of all the sings around me. I had just found out my husband was having an affair. I felt like my world had exploded. Im a stay at home mom with two little ones. I was terrified. I wanted to work things out. We were out to dinner having a conversation. I picked up a fortune cookie lol and It said “you will always have everything you need”. After that day I kept getting messages in different forms and from different places. It felt like a dream. Right now we are very close to sing our divorce. It has been a crazy ride but Im at a place where I never thought I would be. However, I dont feel that conection that I felt before. So, I came across your Reki sound healing meditation and it felt amazing. Thank you
Hi Manuela, Thank you so much for sharing that with me. I’m sending you love and healing vibes. No one deserves to be cheated on and I’m sorry that happened. Keep paying attention to the signs as you are fully loved and supported. Xo
I am a single girl, 25, and currently not dating anyone. I met with a healer and she told me that I would be having a baby, it will be a boy. The crazy part is I already have his name In September 2019 I went on a trip by myself for the very first time. I had encounter with the lord and I heard a name that stuck out to me. When I returned I would see it left and right. Today I was thinking will I ever get married, only because my mom and sister are planning theirs already. And all of a sudden I saw a cloud shaped as a fetus. 2 weeks ago I saw a cloud shaped as a baby/toddler extending their arms. Coincidence I think not but who will I be having my children with is the big question?
You have a spirit baby who is ready to be in your life. No it’s not a coincidence. Your spirit baby is very well around you at all times and is trying to tell you he/she is ready to be in your life.
Hi Melissa, thank you for this. Are you talking about now or then with my son?
Thank you for sharing your testimony! I too have been spiritually connected with God and truly believe in our miracle baby this year. God placed it on my heart to just believe and to continue to have faith even while be on an infertility journey for 5 years. His promises for us are so true. It’s been in spirit so strong. Please pray for me and my hubs!!
Hi Shay, sending you all the love and positive vibes. May God continue to be with you. Xo 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have been searching for other stories similar to my experience, which obviously let me to yours.
So I have an almost 14 year old son. He has been a good kid, but complicated. Only way to put it. In the last few years, after getting him finally settled & on a good path with school, I started feeling a pull to go ahead and get my 3rd IUD removed. I’ve been on BC since I was around 14 due to cramping, and other than the 9 months I was pregnant with my son, have always been on some form. So I waited until my IUD was supposed to come out anyhow just didn’t replace it. I had no idea what to expect.
A few days before my birthday last September, I decided I wanted to schedule a reading with a local medium. March thru July before that, my Mom died quickly from Cancer, so I guess I was just curious to see if she & my Dad would come through. (He died a year before that) The first thing that the medium picks up is a baby spirit that was a miscarriage. I had never had one at that point. She also said that someone was pregnant near me (which only pointed to me, everyone I know is older or can’t have kids anymore) and that the 16th would be a big day. We’ll, I found out three days later on the 16th that I was pregnant. Unfortunately I had D&C October 27th. The day before the procedure I found a spirit baby medium to do a reading so I knew what happened and could maybe set my mind at ease. I’m an Empath, precognitive dreams, claircognitive & clairsentient, but while being pregnant my abilities were almost completely turned off. All I could pick up on was “twins” and “girl”. (My husband didn’t take me seriously) The spirit baby medium picked up on twins from the beginning and that there was a boy (the one from the prior reading) & a girl. The girl had lived a rough life before and backed out. The boy didn’t want to come without her, so bailed too. This all made sense because physically everything had been confirmed through ultrasounds and timing. They said that they would return but they wanted to make sure I was okay with them coming together. Which of course I would be. His name is Marcus and doesn’t like mustard. Lol! The girl was too shy to conversate much with us. Seemed like Marcus helped communicate for her.
Time will tell what the outcome is since it’s only been a few months since this all happened. But at least I’m not as torn up as I could have been not knowing what had happened.
May I ask who you went to for your spirit baby reading?
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Wow. I just love this article, post, whatever you call it. I feel like I was reading an article about me.
Wow. I just love this article, post, whatever you call it. I feel like I was reading an article about me.
I love your story and thank you so much for sharing. I too was given a sign to have another baby and as much as I try to worry myself about all the failing possibilities there’s a voice in my heart and mind that tells me not to worry and that I will be guided. I believe my baby will be another boy and his name will be Evan. That name was shouted out to me and when I searched the meaning of the name I learned that it means God is Gracious. I have two boys and my oldest is 11 while my youngest is 2. I too convinced myself about never having a baby again because I had a painful high risk pregnancy for my second son which scared me into believing I could never do it again. But even with all the negative thoughts there’s still a voice shouting at me telling me that all will be fine and I don’t need to worry at all. Again thank you for sharing your story and blessings to you and your precious family.
Let me apologize in advance cause this is gonna be a long one haha.
A couple of months ago I had a dream I had a baby boy. It felt so real, when I woke up I cried because my baby was no longer with me. Once I calmed down, I realized, and knew deep in my gut, it was a vision. I’ve always had prophetic dreams but I rarely wake up and remember what I’ve just dreamt, it comes back to me in that deja vu kinda way, sometimes months days or even years later, and I just know I’ve dreamt it before, it comes right back to me and I get chills. And this was very clearly a vision for me to see, and remember, like the Universe was helping me to prepare for this to happen. Now I also do tarot and oracle card readings, almost daily, and after that dream I started receiving more cards revolving around fertility and children, and reconnecting with my soulmate. Before the dream I got a reading done about this soulmate and why I couldn’t seem to let him go and move on. The psychic told me that he is going to be coming back into my life, in a different way in August (next month). She said our relationship was going to be “fruitful”, and she paused and then said “but that doesn’t have to mean you’re having children. Could just mean the relationship, the connection, will be more fruitful”. When she said the word, it didn’t even cross my mind that it meant I was going to have a baby. But once I had the dream, I thought back to that reading and kinda laughed, cause looking back it almost felt like she was trying to make sure I didn’t know yet because I wasn’t quite ready. It made me look back to other readings I’ve gotten, or my mom’s gotten (she always inquires about the whole family) over the last couple of years, and there were at least 2 others that in some way mentioned pregnancy or “expansion” of the family, but without them ever saying it would be me. One of them actually, a reading for my mom, told her that she was going to be a big help for a woman close to her that was going to get pregnant. At the time my mom only knew one woman who was pregnant, her coworker, and she asked if it was her, but the psychic said “no, someone more like a daughter”. When I thought back to that, my whole body rocked with chills, and then this warmth just spread over me. I reached out to a friend of mine because I know her psychic abilities grew so much stronger once she had her first baby, and I needed someone to talk to (because who could I possibly talk to about this??). I told her everything that was happening and all the signs I was receiving, and she was able to calm me and tell me more. She said she could see my baby and my angels surrounding me at this time, she felt like they were Santa’s elves because they’re preparing to bring me many gifts soon. She also told me my soulmate is going through his own healing right now, and its preparing him to reach a new level of spirituality that’ll help him to love me in a way he couldn’t before. I got so emotional because it gave me the confirmation I needed, because my doubts were making me so anxious and upset. I see repeating numbers everywhere, 7’s, 2’s, and 1’s following me around the most, in different combinations. It’s really amazing the way the Universe communicates with us, if we pay close enough attention. I’m a little nervous for this next chapter in my life, seeing that it’s such a life altering one, but mostly I feel at peace and ready for this, Ive wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. My angels are constantly communicating I’m on the right path and to just continue to have faith, so that’s my plan. Blessings and light to all, pay attention to your signs!!
I so desperately feel I am suppose to have a fourth Child. I feel like the soul is already waiting for his or her place in our family. I have felt this way for a very long time but my husband is completely against anymore children. We have had multiple conversations and I have pushed my feelings aside to try to move forward and be on the same page as him. They recently resurfaced and now I am again trying to sort through these feelings. Any suggestions on what to do with these feelings? I’m feeling sad and almost lost right now.
Hi Danielle, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. But I will say this, if it’s meant to happen it will happen. Your husband will eventually come around or at least I’m hoping. Just try to be patient. Sending you so much love and light! Xx
I love this! I love how you were able to feel baby Os chakras and knew from the moment you conceived him he was there! I had a similar experience with my first pregnancy. I swear I felt a new energy within me from conception and it got stronger and stronger. I had bloods 10 days later which confirmed pregnancy. The energy kept getting stronger. Four days later I had more bloods (doing ovulation induction treatment you have regular bloods to ensure hcg levels are increasing) and unfortunately my levels had dropped and I miss carried. I could still feel so much energy within me until I finished bleeding. It was so weird because When I was pregnant with my daughter (now five months old) I felt nothing for ages! Wasn’t until she started to move and I could feel that that I finally felt a little energy. Part of me thinks I felt so much with the first pregnancy because the baby was sick and it wasn’t a viable pregnancy and it was trying to pull energy to help it leave. With my daughter she didn’t need to pull any energy – hope that makes sense it does in my head haha
Oh my gosh Jessica thank you so much for sharing that with me! I’m so sorry you miscarried but I do totally think that how you described everything makes so much sense! Sending so much love to you and your daughter!
Funny that this article came up, because I feel like it was a sign for me! I have three girls and thought for sure I was done. Lately I’ve been feeling like I should try again, but I was so sure I was done and I had all my reasons for it as well. All of a sudden, I can’t think of one good reason not to. My mind tells me I should be scared but I’m not really feeling afraid in my heart like I used to. I’ve been waiting for a sign! Maybe this was the one. Thank you for sharing, and may God bless you and your beautiful family.
Hey Caroline! OH EM GEEEE maybe it is a sign for you! When you feel it and just kind of know you can’t deny it. Keep me posted on what you decide to do. Sending you and your family many blessings, love, and light!!! Xx
That is SO AMAZINGLY beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing.
Hi Erika, thank you so much for reading! Xx
Awesome story! Thanks for sharing. 🙂
The only thing I have to share is that when my father passed away about a year and a half ago I was 39
years old and he was 39 years old when he had me. I’ve often wondered what that means or meant at the time.
Hi Caterina, thank you so much for reading. When you look at 3 and 9 separately each have their own attributes. Add them together that number is 12 so you can look at all this and figure out what it could be trying to tell you. I know both numbers mean the Angels are trying to get your attention. 3 by itself is about self awareness, self growth and 9 by itself is very spiritual, karmic, and the angels want you to know that your prayers are heard. I have an angel book that explains the numbers. It’s what I refer to when I see synchronicity’s with numbers too and it helps put things into perspective.
I believe in signs too! My dad passed away, a month later I found out I was pregnant. My son was due on my uncle’s birthday but was so late he was born on my grandmother’s birthday(my dad’s mom) and exactly 6 months to the day from my parents wedding anniversary. My son’s middle name is my dad’s name💖
Also curious, are you afraid of elevators? I hate them, they make me nervous.
Thank you so much for sharing that Christina! I definitely think your son a sign of their love and guidance. It gives me the chills (in a good way) when I think about the potential role our crossed loved ones may play.
Also I’m extremely afraid of elevators, I will not get on one. I usually go to places where I know I don’t have to ride one and if by some chance I absolutely must get on one I have a major panic attack. A few months ago I had an event in the city and it was on the 17th floor. I almost didn’t go upstairs because the fear can be debilitating. This is something I’ve been dealing with since I was a kid. I was stuck in an elevator 3 times in my life and the last time I vowed never to ride one again. The highest I walked up was 21 flights, LOL the fear is real and I’m working on it.